When life is going great it is easy to see God’s hand and speak freely about His goodness. When life is hard it is often harder to see God’s hand and easier to wonder where he is and if he sees us struggling and hurting. In scripture we see time and again when God’s children cry out and he hears their cries and sees them in their circumstances. God saw Hannah in her desire for a child(1 Samuel 1-2), Joseph in his betrayal (Genesis 37-50), the Israelites in their slavery (Exodus 1-15), the crippled man at the pool of Bethesda (John 5:1-18), and on and on. We know that God sees us in our situation, but it feels so different when we are personally walking through it.
This past Spring I had the privilege to go on a trip to the Dominican Republic to be part of an Operation Christmas Child outreach event and shoebox gift distribution. If you are not familiar with Samaritan Purse’s Operation Christmas Child you can find out more information here. The short version is that shoeboxes are stuffed with gifts by people all over the world to be given to children all over the world as a way to open the door to share the Gospel through both evangelism and discipleship. Children are invited by their local churches to an outreach event in which they hear the Gospel message. They have no idea they will be receiving a gift. As the local church leader unfolds Jesus as the greatest gift ever given during the Gospel presentation, they are given a shoebox full of goodies as well as invitation to a discipleship program. There is no set packing list and no detailed plan for a specific shoebox to land in a specific, region, church, or child. But God is sovereign and sees us all.
While on this trip I heard different stories about times in which the perfect gift was included in a box that met a specific need. Being a logical, and sometimes skeptical, person I always wonder if the story got larger as it passed from person to person. As we were passing out shoeboxes in a small cinder block church packed to the brim with sweet kiddos, we saw the kids’ joy as they opened their boxes. One 9 or 10 year old boy pulled out a basketball jersey that was in his box with great excitement. Through a translator we found out he collected basketball jerseys. I don’t mean high dollar collector items, I mean any kind of jersey. His goal was to have one of each number. He said he has numbers 1,2,3,4,6, and 7 but was missing a five. When he turned that Upward Basketball jersey around and I saw a big number 5 on the back all I could think of is that boy will never wonder if God sees him.
My question for myself was, “What is my #5 jersey?” What is the thing I hold on to when my faith and my feelings aren’t aligning? I love the father, who in Mark 9:24 requests Jesus to help his demon possessed son “if you can”. I can almost see the glimmer in Jesus’ eye when he says, “ ‘If you can’? Everything is possible for him who believes.” The father’s response is “I do believe; help my unbelief.” I hear you brother. I resonate! I believe God is all powerful, is all knowing, loves me deeply and sees me. At the same time those feelings, that often deceive us all, aren’t aligning with what we know to be true. It is time to find my #5 jersey. For me, that looks like remembering times when God moved in my life and I knew he saw me. When I was walking through hospice care for my dad and unexplainable peace calmed my soul; I knew it was God. When we got the new job after a job loss, but only after we were learned about the depth and gift of Christian community; I knew it was God. It was when I was having pregnancy complications but God led me to a scripture of promise for my son (who is now 24 years old); I knew it was God.
If you are walking through a time and are wondering if you are seen by God, I encourage you to do two things:
1- Spend some time in God’s word in the stories listed above where God sees his children.
2- Spend some time remembering your #5 Jersey.
Also, it is almost national Operation Christmas Child National Shoebox Collection Week (November 18-25). If you would like to put together a shoebox of gifts that opens the door for a child to hear the Gospel message you can find out information concerning packing boxes, local drop-off locations, or how to build a shoebox online visit Samaritans Purse – Operation Christ Child. You can be a part of meeting the goal of 10 million shoebox gifts being collected in the U.S.
As I sit at January 11th, wondering how in the world today can be my 45th Birthday I am reminded of the fact that I have been known by God that entire time. He doesn’t just know who I am, but He KNOWS ME. 
Mull This Over 